"Do you know that fear is the evidence of idolatry? When we allow fear to turn us back from obedience, we allow it to rob us of God's (Rev. 21:8) redemption. Ask Him to examine your heart and reveal every fear and give true repentance for believing the lies of the enemy that say you are in control and are responsible for the security which can only come from God!" posted by Ken Carpenter.
Last week, I asked a friend/Pastor who has a Deliverance Ministry what sin "back pain" was the result of; wondering what was stopping the healing of my back. He told me worry and/or fearfulness. My mind immediately thought of some financial difficulties I have due to doctor's bills. So, I repented of the worry; trusting God to provide for my bills.
Well, then day before yesterday, he posted on Facebook, the above opening statement and the LORD immediately brought to mind something I have had hidden in my heart since 1987!
On June 10th at 4:00 p.m., in 1987, I was driving home from work, and was praying for the granddaughter of my boss, who had discussed with me, earlier that day about getting an abortion. She and her husband were not ready to start a family (he thought) and she was giving serious consideration to terminating. All of a sudden I began weeping uncontrollably and praying in The Spirit and couldn't understand why. I mean I was concerned about the girl and the baby, but saw no reason for such an emotional outburst. Well, when I got home an hour later, my phone was ringing. I wasn't able to answer before they hung-up and as that was before answering machines and voice mail, I sat on the side of the bed, thinking "if it was important they would call back!" They did! "Are you Cheri's mom?" was the question, raised to my "hello"! I was then informed that my daughter, and my mother had been in a "near fatal accident" and that I needed to come to the hospital immediately. My daughter had already been transported to Nashville and my mother was still at Sumner; soon to be transported too! I drove to the hospital, screaming the name of JESUS; over and over and over! JESUS! My only thought! My only anchor!
At that moment my life changed! My daughter was in the hospital, in traction for 30 days, coming home, to be in a body cast for 6 weeks. My mother was in ICU for 72 days; the only bones not broke in her, were her arms. From that point on she was disabled; and I became her primary caregiver until her death in 2007.
I wish I could say that during that time I grew stronger in my walk with The LORD, but that was not the case. I backslid terribly. The "cares of the world" . . .
I thought I was coping; doing good considering; however, worry was my constant companion; fear- my ally!
Whenever a loved one left to go to work, home, on a trip (it didn't matter) I had to have a phone call from them, letting me know they had arrived safely! The sound of sirens on the road, would send me to the phone, wanting to know where all of my loved ones were; so that I would know they were safe!
I have been in bondage these 25 years!
"Ask Him to examine your heart and reveal every fear and give true repentance for believing the lies of the enemy that say you are in control and are responsible for the security which can only come from God!"
I had done that, and boy did He ever! The pain He uncovered!
I have repented for the fear and for believing the lies! I know that I am not in control! That only God is and He's my security, and The security for my loved ones!
Such freedom!
Last night, while thinking about what God is doing in me; He gave me a picture in my mind of a Master Jeweler cutting a diamond. Each facet He cuts: so that I will reflect a greater brilliance when His light hits me!
Even so - Maranatha!
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