"Last night, while thinking about what God is doing in me; He gave me a picture in my mind of a Master Jeweler cutting a diamond. Each facet He cuts: so that I will reflect a greater brilliance when His light hits me!"

The above was my closing comment to my blog on November 3, 2012, on my deliverance from fear! (http://conniebumbalough.blogspot.com/)

Well, Praise God, He's been at it again!

I thought I was done once and for all with "fear", however, I had just scratched the surface.

Prior to 11/3/12, every day my husband would leave for work, he would HAVE to call me when he arrived, because I needed to know he had arrived safely.(The reason "I needed" is detailed in my blog of that date.) In fact one time, before cell phones, he was unable to phone me, because the person with the keys, was running late. When he didn't phone, I called the store, and the phone rang so many times, the fax machine picked up. I tried again, and again got the fax. Finally, I phoned the local police department. I explained to the dispatcher the situation, that the store was open 24 hours and no one was answering, she phoned, with the same results and said she would send a car. (My husband had not told me that the store had just started closing at midnight.) The person with the keys arrived and opened the door, they turned off the alarm and turned around to face a policeman who said, "Call your wife!"  He, from then on, of course got a lot of ribbing with others saying, "make sure you call your wife", when he walked in the door, and he took it good naturedly, and never failed to call me again.

 

After 11/3/12, I told him, he no longer needed to call me, but he still does, but he doesn't have to!  Big difference!

Well, recently, I learned more about the spirit of fear and the spirit of rejection, and other spirits that have us bound; their roots beginning often in our childhood.

For at least a month I had been praying for God to give me His love; so that I could love others, with "A God Kind of Love". He slowly revealed to me that I didn't even love myself; much less my neighbor.  As God shown His light in the corners my heart I realized I really didn't know how to love or be loved. I had believed the lie of the enemy that I was unlovable; rejection and self-loathing had strong roots in me. Last night, I forgave all the people that had hurt me, in my past, and repented for judging them for not loving me the way I thought I should be loved. I also repented for believing the enemy's lies instead of believing God!  When I did, the Love of God was shed into my heart and His Peace, that passes all understanding was made real to me in ways I could not have imagined. 

The bricks in the walls that I had built up, over the years from the many hurts and disappointments are torn down! 

Last night I met with two precious brothers in the Lord and confessed my sins and sought forgiveness from God; and He met me in a mighty way!

In one year's time, God has delivered me from strongholds, the enemy had me. I no longer require any medication to cope with life's infirmities. When I finally had enough and reached out to Him, He met me in my need and delivered me!

God will not only bring down the bricks that are holding up the altars of your idols, as you defy Him; He will bring down the bricks, in the walls you have put up in your defense; when you seek Him for deliverance!

For the first time in my life I feel loved! God's perfect love!

Even so - MARANATHA!